Pres.

Dulu en,

masa kat skola en,

skola mana?

Rahsia. XD

Aku syok kat pres ak =_=

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

hari2 ak panggel, dy toleh, aku hi

maka dia akan balas lah.

Last ak kacau dy b4 cuti raya cina.

Lepas tu stop dah.

Malu sikit.

MIAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sekian.

XDD

| Came across his facebook tu teringat tu XD |

Friendship Complex.

It is very interesting how complex House and Wilson's friendship is.

Very interesting.

Hm hm.

| Hmmm |

Maleficient.

I've been dying to watch and got my chance today. :P

*because of body ache =_= *

Really was looking forward to this.

What I can share and I won't spill much..maybe @_@ is few things I would like to highlight.

I really like her.
SHE'S AN AWESOME FAIRY!!!!!

Her confidence, charisma, aura, wings, cheekiness, rantings, DIAVAL!!!, and her heart.

The movie bear something similar to Frozen. Maybe coincidence. Cause I don't know which production takes the upper hand in terms of time the producer or writer want to cast and bla3.

He deserves it.

She learned something of it.

The way the plot twist around is amazing.

The setting is maleficient! [pun intended]

And it's worth it he insisted on working this certainly with AJ.

All the cast are so beautiful. >, < Main cast I mean. ._.

Diaval HANDSOME!!!! @_@

Phillip..hm..hm..okay la~ ~.~

And it's funny too somehow. =_=

And I did cried for I am touched of the story. =,=''

I'm not a good critiques regarding movies but as long as I feel worth it to watch, I highly recommend it.

Being young alone and not coached especially by parents is something.

She deserves what she have.

No one has any right to harm others regardless any matters.

[ THIS IS NOT SPOILER BUT HEAVILY CONTAINED WHAT YOU MIGHT AS WELL EXPECT WHEN YOU WATCH IT AFTER READING THIS]

After watching Maleficient, since I watched Once Upon A Time, yeah, I know after or maybe before OUAT there's such series tangled all the fairytale and making the most cross-over of them all. But back to my point, since OUAT, Regina and now Maleficient are the antagonist who once a good guy turn into bad one because of one or whom we thought actually the hero/heroins of all. 

It's nice how one can see another perspective of the bad guy whom ones in the good side. But yeah, not all of them like that, from good gone bad, but mostly possibly so. Just look around us, even a criminal was once a good person. Aren't they? They was born baby as pure as any baby you've met. Don't tell me you'd seen babies whom doing crimes. ._. Except that if they are The Unborn. =_=

So yeah. Go watch it.

| But if I know you, I know what you'll do |
| You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream |

| Does true love exist? |

Bendera Malaysia.

I love to make pun of this.

Tha'nera Telezia

| I missed those days back then. |

Lolies. And Black Bullet. Red eyes.

I

Am one of those who adore lolies. =_=

Since when I'm not sure myself either. =,=''

Maybe since dnsea. ._.

Well-known loli I guessed. =,=''

Anyhow, Black Bullet is another topic I wanna bring about.

The concept yeah. Lolies. Everyone and each of them has their own loli.

LOLis. [ pun intended ]

And also part of the concept seems like cancer-themed. Each owner of the loli is the promoter while their loli titled as initiator and each of them has their own mode like bunny mode, cat mode, spider mode etc. Awesome.

Owh and why do I said cancer-themed?

Cause 1st they have such initiator and promoter thingy, just like when I learned about malignancy, we did learn term such as promoter and initiator in genes if I'm not mistaken. Also, 2nd, the problem, crisis, and conflict related to this anime is about a monster or whatever they call them Gastrea bla3 and also those red-eyed lolies is somehow related to cancer/mutation like stuffs. It's kinda cool though. 20 episodes is kinda bearable for me. I can't accept any anime or series 20+ eps so this is cool.

About the red eyes. Black Bullet and Mekakucity Actors both has the same theme. Red eyes. XD

AND I TOTALLY LOVE MEKAKUCITY ACTORS

I recommend us to watch it if us likes anime. ;3

It's another sight of anime one rarely wanna watch but I'm that one of a kind whom is the rarest. ;3

| I am indeed well-known loli of gays of mine. =_= |

Particular.

She might be right.

At some point I am indeed particular.

Or maybe at all point.

Lol.

| Nice catch. |

Crazy.

This summers daylight saving and ups and downs making my biological clock hectic.

It's 12:37 aka 0037 duh.

I should be sleeping.

._.

| This is why I miss Malaysia. =_= |

Cerpen: Darul Taqwa & Datuk Dr Johar [Credit to Owner]

Gonna share this story as lesson of the day.

Lama dah baca, sharing drpd sahabat comel molek manis saye Su and so here it is. :D

Ramai sgt suke share citer ni so saye ambil kesempatan jugaklah.

And sahabat saye sorg ni Az dok tanya balik, saya pun terdetik la nak share kot2 rase nak baca lagi skali gak en.

Ne tau esok cr blk nk baca, dah post kt blog sniri. XD

Credit to owner.

Semoga Allah memberi kebaikan yang berlipat kali-ganda kepada anda

 And semoga sama2 kita dilimpahkan dengan nikmat dan berkat kurniaan-Nya.

Amin.

Digosok-gosok lagi matanya. Dia seakan-akan tidak percaya apa yang dilihatnya. Apakah aku kembali ke zaman unta, ke zaman kolot dan purba? begitulah detik hatinya. Dikesat hidungnya yang berair dengan kertas tisu. Kertas itu kemudiannya dicampakkannya ke tepi jalan.
“Assalamualaikum, pakcik.. tolong kutip kertas itu. Nanti pakcik rugi di Akhirat. Kebersihan itu separuh daripada iman.”
Bunyi satu suara di belakangnya. Ia bingkas berpaling. Siapa berani menegurku? Aku Datuk Dr.Johar, orang besar negara ini.
“Pakcik, biarlah saya tolong kutip,sebelum Penguatkuasa Iman dan Islam datang. Nanti didendanya pakcik,” kata budak kecil berpakaian putih dengan serban yang melilit kepalanya.
Datuk Dr. Johar membetulkan tali lehernya. Ah, kalau dia datang biar aku sogok dengan duit ini . Siapa yang tak kelabu tengok duit merah, biru berlapis-lapis. Namun, Datuk Dr. Johar terus hairan. Bangunan pencakar langit dengan wajah pembangunan yang sofistikated. Ada helikopter bersimpang -siur bergerak di udara. Railbus bercerakah ke sana sini. Bullet train meluncur bagaikan panah dilepaskan dari busurnya. Kesibukan yang layak dipikul oleh manusia-manusia moden. Namun peliknya, pakaian mereka, tingkah-laku mereka…Ah, di mana aku sekarang ini, gerutu hati Datuk Dr.Johar.
“Hoi budak, Aku dimana sekarang ?” soalnya kepada budak yang menegurnya tadi.
Budak itu tersenyum. Mukanya cerah dan indah. Tenang dan bersuara lunak. Apakah ini Aladin, budak Arab dengan lampu ajaibnya: teka-teki itu terus menerjah kepala dan kotak fikir Datuk Dr. Johar. Budak itu membuka mulut hendak menjawab. Belum sempat,tiba- tiba datang sebuah kereta jenis Ferrari, merah dan bercahaya. Keluar dua orang lelaki dengan pakaian yang hebat dan segak. Serban mereka berwarna hitam berjalur biru.
“Assalamualaikum. …Maaf, pakcik. Kami terpaksa mendenda pakcik. Kesalahan membuang sampah ini sudah belasan tahun tidak berlaku di Darul Taqwa ini. Kami terpaksa mendenda pakcik. Kebersihan itu lambang iman. Negara ini menitikberatkan iman…. Pakcik didenda, 30 kali subhanallah, 30 kali astaghfirullah dan selawat 100 kali.”
Kata pegawai penguatkuasa itu dengan lembut. Datuk Dr. Johar tersentak. Apa namanya undang-undang ini. Tak ada dewan bandaraya di seluruh pelusuk dunia mengamalkannya. Dia tercengang-cengang. Namun egonya membumbung tinggi. Apa ? Dia nak marahkan aku ?
” Ni duit lima ratus. Saya tak mahu buat apa yang kamu minta. Kita selesaikan di sini saja. Berapa gaji yang kamu dapat sebulan ? ” tanyanya angkuh.
“Pakcik, kita bekerja kerana Allah, bukan kerana gaji. Lagipun duit bukan ada harga lagi di zaman ini. Semuanya dipandang sebagai alat, bukan matlamat,” kata pegawai berjanggut dan berjambang itu dengan tenang.
“Oh, oh …. maafkan kami, pakcik. Kami nak tanya sikit, kenapa pakcik pakai pakaian zaman dulu? Mana pakcik dapat pakaian macam itu ?” Tanya pegawai itu pula.
Aku yang gila, atau dia yang gila? Detak hati Datuk Dr. Johar. Dia berjalan ke arah kereta Ferrari yang berkilat itu. Melalui cerminnya dia nampak perawakannya dengan jelas. Tak ada yang salah. Tali leher, kemeja dan kotnya masih kemas dan segak. Daripada jenama yang mahal pula – Pierre Cardin. Kasutnya hitam berkilat daripada jenis Bally. Ah! Aku masih unggul. Lelaki tampan, lambang status dan kejayaan. Dia yang kolot, dia yang ketinggalan zaman.
“Anak muda, pakaian pakcik ni pakaian pemimpin. Pakcik orang besar di negara ini. Pakcik dah keliling dunia dengan pakaian ni. “
“Pakcik, itu pakaian puluhan tahun yang lampau. Ketika Islam belum berdaulat di Darul Taqwa ni. Moyang-moyang kami dulu saja yang pertahankan pakaian macam itu. Itu pakaian orang kuno di Barat. Sekarang, kami hanya dapat lihat gambar-gambarnya saja. Itupun dalam buku sejarah zaman peralihan Islam. Orang Barat zaman moden ini dah berpakaian macam yang kami pakai. Tak ada orang yang pakai macam tu kecuali orang-orang bukan Islam yang dijamin kebebasannya dalam sebuah negara Islam seperti darul Taqwa.”
Datuk Dr. Johar termanggu-manggu kebingungan.
“Di mana aku sebenarnya ni?” Dia bertanya lagi kepada pegawai penguatkuasa dan budak kecil di tepi jalan. Dia masih kenal, Ini Jalan Chow Kit ditengah bandar Kuala lumpur. Masih ada Masjid Pakistan dan Masjid Kampung Baru di sebelah sana. Tetapi itu sahaja, yang lain tak ada.
“Pakcik di bandar Mutmainnah. Ini jalan Mujahadah, namanya. Saya Haji Din,Pegawai Penguatkuasa Iman dan Islam. Diberi amanah untuk memastikan kebersihan lahir batin bandar ini.”
Apa? Bandaraya Kuala Lumpur dah jadi Bandaraya Mutmainnah? Jalan Chow Kit dah jadi jalan Mujahadah? Apa dia mutmainnah? Apa dia mujahadah tu? Apa yang terjadi ni? Soalan-soalan itu terus menyerang benak Datuk Dr. Johar.
“Pakcik, kami rayu pakcik membayar denda tadi. Kalau tak boleh sekarang, lepas sembahyang nanti pakcik laksanakanlah. Demi kebaikan pakcik dunia dan Akhirat…” Tiba-tiba terdengar suara orang memberi salam dari jauh.Nyaring dan jelas. Seorang lelaki pertengahan umur berlari kepada seorang pegawai penguatkuasa.
“Tuan, hukumlah saya. Saya mengumpat tadi. Ya Allah ! seksa Neraka amat pedih..Tolonglah, tuan. Hukum saya di dunia sebelum saya di hukum di Akhirat!” rayu lelaki itu. Pegawai tadi berpaling ke arah lelaki yang baru datang, dan kesempatan itu diambil oleh Datuk Dr. Johar. Ia lari sekuat-kuat hati.Peliknya mereka tidak mengejarnya. Ia terlepas …Lega.Dahaga , lapar mula menggigit tekak dan perutnya. Dia mesti makan.Dia perlu minum. Tapi di mana? Tiba-tiba ia terdengar suara komputer dari sound system di tepi-tepi jalan :
“Assalamualaikum, kepada seluruh penduduk Kota Mutmainnah. Syed Al Abrar, hartawan besar berada di jalan Uwais Al Qarni. Dia merayu fakir miskin supaya sudi menerima sedekahnya. Hari ini ia menjamu nasi dan minuman. Sila datang!”
Datuk Dr. Johar orang besar Darul Ghurur itu tidak akan mencemar duli menagih nasi. Dia ada duit, mampu membelinya sendiri. Dia pun masuk ke sebuah restoran di tepi jalan. Di situ penuh dengan pelanggan. Semuanya berserban dan berjubah.Matanya tak betah lagi melihat semua itu.Tapi kerana lapar ia masuk juga.
“Maaf tuan, itu pintu masuk untuk wanita. Di sini untuk lelaki.”
“Ceh! Diskriminasi, doubel-standard, lelaki dipisahkan daripada perempuan.”Mukanya dicemekkan kepada tuan kedai yang menegurnya.
“Ada restoran lain yang mengamalkan persamaan taraf antara lelaki dan perempuan? Saya tak suka pemisahan-pemisahan macam ni!”. Lelaki itu tersenyum.
“Empat puluh tahun yang lalu adalah.Sekarang ni kita sudah bebas dan merdeka. Zaman penjajahan fikiran dan jiwa sudah berlalu. Tak ada diskriminasi wanita di sini, tuan. Amir Muhammad,pemimpin Darul Taqwa telah menaikkan taraf wanita tanpa Women’s Libs.Kalau tuan ada isteri dan membawanya bersama, sila masuk ke sana. Di sana ada tempat khusus untuk makan bersama isteri dan anak perempuan,”terangnya. Mukanya jernih.Serban dan jubahnya serba putih.
“Ini bertentangan dengan prinsip demokrasi. Sistem pemerintahan kapitalis, sosialis, nasionalis malah komunis sekalipun tak macam ni…”
“Masya-Allah pakcik, jangan disebut lagi nama-nama ideologi tu. Semuanya telah termaktub sebagai ajaran-ajaran sesat dalam perlembagaan Darul Taqwa ini. Tak ada orang lagi yang berpegang dengan fahaman jahiliyyah tu… Subhanallah. …” Keluh tuan restoran itu sambil mengurut-ngurut dadanya. Ekor serbannya bergoyang-goyang ketika ia manggeleng -gelengkan kepalanya.
Ah! Persetankan semua itu. Perut aku lapar. Datuk Dr. Johar pun duduk.
“Nasi beriani sepinggan !”ujarnya kepada pelayan.
“Dalam pinggan, tuan?” tanya pelayan itu kehairanan.
“Ya ! Apa peliknya?”,
“Baik,tuan.Tapi semua orang berebut-rebut pahala makan berjamaah. Tuan makan seorang ?” tanya pelayan berkulit hitam itu.
Dia tambah geram.direnung ke hadapan, iaitu ketempat orang menikmati makanan.Tidak ada meja makan hanya hamparan permaidani tebal dengan dulang-dulang indah yang tersusun rapi. Mereka makan satu dulang. Yek! Jijiknya. Ah! Aku tetap aku. Aku ada pendirian! Nasi beriani dengan ayam goreng kegemarannya terhidang di atas kain putih khas.
“Jemput makan dengan nama Allah yang memberi rezeki,” kata pelayan itu dengan sopan.
Datuk Dr.Johar makan dengan seleranya. Dewan makan itu berhawa dingin lengkap dengan alat TV dan pita videonya sekali. Dia makan seorang diri bagai kera sumbang.
” Ya Allah, apa musibah yang menimpa ana Subuh tadi. Ana masbuk dalam sembahyang jemaah Subuh, ” ujar seorang lelaki muda dengan wajah yang kecewa. Suapnya perlahan. Macam tak lalu makan saja
“Anta tak cuba tampung dengan amal makrufat yang lain ?”tanya sahabatnya di sebelah.Dia nampak simpati.
Datuk Dr. Johar pasang telinga saja.
“Ana nak sedekahkan lima ribu ringgit …malang nasib ana. Ana tunggu lima jam di tepi jalan tadi, seorang pun tak mahu terima sedekah ana ” Keluhnya.
“Susah kita sekarang. Orang miskin yang bolot pahala redha, pahala sabar. Mereka patutnya bantulah kita.Tolonglah terima sedekah kita.Ah, susahnya jadi orang kaya macam kita ini. Dahlah nanti di Akhirat banyak hisabnya, Di dunia orang tak sudi pula terima sedekah kita.”
“Oh…” keluh seorang yang sama-sama makan dengan lelaki muda tadi.
“Kalaulah kita hidup zaman moyang kita dulu, kan dapat kita korbankan harta yang banyak ini. Saya pun dapat harta ni melalui warisan daripada bapa, yang diwarisi oleh datuk saya daripada moyangnya. Kita tunggulah bila kerajaan nak bangunkan projek negara atau nak gunakan duit untuk kemaskinikan kementerian- kementeriannya. … saya nak labur habis-habisan. Biar jadi saham Akhirat,” kata pemuda itu menutup perbualan. Mereka pun makan dengan perlahan -lahan.
Datuk Dr.Johar makin pelik.
“Tambah nasi sepinggan lagi!” ujarnya kepada pelayan restoran.
“Demi kesihatan tuan, saya nasihatkan … berhentilah sebelum kenyang.Maaf tuan saya terpaksa mengatakan demikian. Saya pelayan kedai merangkap pegawai perubatan ….,” kata pelayan itu lagi.
“Apa? Awak pegawai perubatan? Seorang doktor ke? Kelulusan luar negeri atau dalam negeri? Awak sepatutnya bertugas di hospital, bukan di restoran!” bentaknya. Marah campur geram.
“Tuan, mana ada hospital sekarang.Yang ada khusus untuk bayi, kanak-kanak dan wanita, juga para mubaligh dan mujahid yang cedera ketika berjuang. Tuan, kalau tuan amalkan makan hanya bila lapar dan berhenti sebelum kenyang, tuan akan sihat, insya-Allah. Kita tak perlu hospital”
“Bodoh, kalau macam tu, macam mana nak rawat pesakit kencing manis macam aku ini ?” leternya perlahan-lahan.
“Penyakit kencing manis? Tuan menghidapnya? Saya ada baca buku perubatan edisi tahun 1990 dulu. Sekarang penyakit tu dah tak ada siapa menghidapnya. ….”
“Batalkan saja oder saya tadi, banyak sangat cakap, boring. Saya perlu hiburan sekarang …Di mana boleh saya dapati ?” tanyanya.
“Di sana, tuan. Melalui butang pada sistem komputer di sebelah sana, tuan boleh dapat apa saja hiburan yang menyegarkan. Tak payah risau pasal bil. Percuma.”
Datuk Dr. Johar, orang besar negara, melangkah hebat ke tempat yang ditunjukkan. Berbagai -bagai butang dengan bermacam warna berkelip-kelip. Sangat rumit tapi kekeliruan itu dapat disembunyikannya. Dia malu kalau-kalau dengan pakaian jenama Pierre Cardinnya ia masih kelihatan kolot.. Entah di mana falsafah moden Datuk Dr. Johar. Pada pakaiannyakah atau otaknya? Diberanikan hatinya; satu butang warna hitam ditekan . Dalam skrin timbul tajuk besar- KHAUF. Apa bendanya ni? Kemudian menyusul nama-nama lagu: MATI ITU TERLALU SAKIT, ALAM BARZAKH YANG PASTI, MIZAN NOKTAH PENYESALAN , IZRAEL DATANG TIBA-TIBA Oh…Oh … seram sejuk tubuhnya. Apa nama lagu macam ini? Biarlah menaruh harapan sikit.
Hatiku macam kristal, boleh pecah dengan lagu-lagu macam tu. aku belum nak mati lagi, protes hati Datuk Dr.Johar. Dia beralih ke butang hijau tanpa lengah terus menekannya. Tertera di atas skrin komputer: RAJA’. kemudian tersembul tajuk-tajuk lagu. Dibacanya dengan teliti… FIRDAUSI MELAMBAIMU, DEMI CINTA DAN RAHMAT-NYA, KEINDAHAN JANNAH YANG ABADIï.. Kepala datuk Dr. Johar makin pusing. Semuanya tentang Akhirat. Apa nak jadi ni?
“Tak ada lagu yang hot sikit ke?” tanyanya kepada seorang anak muda berjubah coklat di sebelahnya.
“Nanti ya pakcik . Saya pilihkan lagu yang paling hot sekarang ni.Top-hit anak-anak muda sekarang…”
“Ya, ya saya setuju,” balas Datuk Dr. Johar. Telinganya dihalakan kepada sistem suara di dinding restoran itu. Dia ingin dengar lagu-lagu kegemaran muda-mudi daerah asing itu.
Ayat suci Al-Quran a…
“Eh …ni suara orang mengaji,”
“Nanti dulu pakcik,selepas ni ada terjemahannya kemudian baru menyusul lagunya,” kata pemuda berjubah cokat itu sambil matanya di tutup rapat-rapat. Asyik sekali dia.
Kemudian getaran suara bergema
…. Cintaku berlabuh di persada rahmat-Mu
mendamba kasih yang tidak berhujung
mengutip sayang di hamparan cinta suci.
Inilah getaran hatiku memburu cinta…….
stanza hati merindu Ilahi!”
Datuk Dr. Johar tak tahan lagi. Ia merengus dan pergi ke kaunter bayaran.
“Maaf tuan, duit ini duit lama. Kalau tuan tak mampu bayar kami halalkan sajalah …”
Datuk Dr. Johar makin geram. Dia menderam dan berkata
” Saya bayar dengan kad kredit saja!” Dia hulurkan kad kredit warna keemasannya.
“Maaf sekali lagi, tuan. Kad kredit ini bukan yang boleh kami terima, kami halalkan sajalah.”
“Tak, pantang saya minta sedekah. Saya ada harta simpanan berbungkal-nungkal emas di bank. Takkan saya nak bawa, nanti disambar pencuri.”
” Darul Taqwa tak ada pencuri, tuan. Pencuri terakhir telah dipotong tangannya 30 tahun yang lalu ketika minta dihukum di hadapan hakim kerana takutkan seksa Neraka.”
“Ah, aku tak nak dengar semuanya.makin gila aku dibuatnya,” pekik Datuk Dr. Johar lantas meluru keluar dari restoran itu. Di luar,semua pandangan menyakitkan hati. Mengapa orang kolot ini mentadbir teknologi begini tinggi.
Pemandu bullet train berserban merah tersenyum kepadanya. Pilot helikopter dengan tulisan ‘MAKRUFAT AIR TRANSPORT’ sibuk dengan urusannya. Di seberang jalan tertegak papan iklan dengan tulisan yang jelas :” KELUARGA BAHAGIA GEMBIRA DENGAN SUNNAH “. Di papan itu terpampang gambar seorang lelaki dan perempuan berserta anak-anak meraka. Semuanya berserban, berjubah dan berpurdah.
Isy,meluatnya! Di jalan-jalan raya suasana meriah dengan salam dan senyum. Baginya,semua itu seolah-olah menyindir dan mengejek. Kenapa jadi begini? Kenapa? Kenapa? Kenapa? Mengapa? Mengapa? Mengapa? Datuk Dr. Johar tiba-tiba menjerit. Tekanan dalam jiwanya yang kian tersumbat itu tiba-tiba meletus.
“Datuk..!Datuk. .! Bangun, Datuk. Ada berita buruk !”
Datuk Dr.Johar bangun. Ia tertidur sewaktu menunggu keputusan pilihanraya hari itu.
“Kenapa? Parti kita kalah? Aku kalah? “tanya Datuk Dr. Johar.
“Tidak, Tuk. Rakyat bangun memprotes. Mereka tak mahu demokrasi.Mereka tak mahu pilihanraya. ..”
“Habis, mereka mahu apa?”
“Mereka mahu Islam, Datuk!”
“Islam ? ” keluh Datuk Dr. Johar. Digosok-gosok lagi matanya.
“ISLAM KAN TETAP DIJULANG WALAUPUN IA DITENTANG..ITULAH JANJI ILAHI”
“Pasakkan Sabat Teguhkan Istiqamah”

 

macam mana nak lawan kesunyian.

How to fight loneliness
Smile all the time
Shine you teeth til meaningless
Sharpen them with lies

And whatever's going down
Will follow you around
That's how you fight loneliness
You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
Fill your heart with smoke
And the first thing that you want
Will be the last thing you ever need
That's how you fight it

Just smile all the time

One.

We are different yet we are one.

| Because we have each other and we always need each other. |

Love.

End of Season 1

CM gives a relieve over burn out hard disk driver of mine[brain].

Finale of season 1 is awesome!!

Season 2 heads up!

XD

Week wonders.

What a week!!

Anyway I enjoyed pretty much the ups and downs of this week. ;3

Especially having sisters day out at Makani with the promotional offer. XD

My first time though.

Gonna make mental note and also a point of trip when my beautiful dear sister come. :D

| First time ever tasted unagi HOHOHO |

Coffee.

Wonders.

| I love Coffee |

No Game No Life

Sora x Shiro [ Kuhaku ]

Lesson to learn.

| In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.|

 - Francis Bacon

In Criminal Mind Season 1 Eps 15; Unfinished Business 

At the end of the episode, Elle asked Hotchner how he managed to have family life and carrier life both at the same time despite most of the BAU or such agents mostly get divorced along the course after she can get over he situation with the former agent in the episode.

And how he answers it? He's cool. He tries to focus 100% on his family when he spend the time and so he did with his works and colleagues. It's about prioritizing. You must get on it. Don't let it get on you.

Well, that reminds me a lot why ibuabah always say, ''..even though we have so little time to spend together, it's how we make those time of use. So it doesn't matter if we have so little time together because we make use of it.''

I used to get upset usually at the end of summer break since my holidays are always shorter than most of other schools and we usually don't get our holidays synch with other schools so by mid or end of my holidays, my siblings gone faster than I should. 

But yeah, despite the crammed family events our ibuabah planned, it's always worthwhile even if we get scolded on. XD

Because we make use of it even though it's annoyingly pack. =_=

So the conclusion is?

| Prioritize. |

Lupa bahasa arab dy =_=

Prioritize. Make use of the time 100%. And live it up.

Elle was afraid if she couldn't make it like Hotchner did, and end up like the former agent or others, and so do I.

But I have ibuabah. I have my family. I have me. If I keep all those advice and lesson from ibuabah and breathe it, I'm sure I won't get loss. No matter how busy I am as a future physician, insyaAllah I would make it through despite the life of a physician and being a wife and a mother at the same time.

I've stuck to this series since my sweetie Mas tell's me about one of the characters that more or less similar to me LOL. And she also recommended the series to watch and now I'm stuck. It's fun see how they profiling and to learn about. :P Plus the awesome quotes they shared in each episodes.

And I love how baby Mas kicks around or  feeling her head when I touch her. XD

The best experience? Feeling her hiccup inside her mummy's tummy. :D

Welcome to our world soon baby Mas. ^^

May you be a solehah and lovable daughter of Mas and Ammar. :D

[pre-birth prayer and du'a :P ]

I'm so gonna complete watch the series, leaving House M.D and more behind LOL.

|Abraham Lincoln once said, "In the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."|

Another kind of empathy.

LOL

I forgot to post the previous entry =_=

*back to topic* *cough*

It is when you experienced it.

And you really can fit in the shoe of the owner.

Not just an empathy.

That kind.

| Can't we alter our brain wave when we are watching stuffs on that panorama box if we are watching something that work our brains out? |

Lesson of the day.

''People need to know that they're important and sometimes you forget that.''

-Agent Hotchner

“Measure not the work until the day's out and the labor done.” -Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Define.

''Not knowing what you feel is not the same as not feeling anything.''

-Agent Gideon

That shooting stars ain't airplanes

So airplane, airplane, sorry I'm late
I'm on my way so don't close that gate
If I don't make that then I'll switch my flight
And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night

Saya Malu Tapi Saya Buat Gak

OiTNB

Recently I started to feeding myself with getting notis from most page I'l like to follow instead of going through feeds so, I've seen a lot abt the new series of Orange is The New Black. Not sure wanna watch it though since I've hell lots of things to watch besides study. And it turns out to be inspired of real life story. I'm not sure though how related it is but it was inspired of a person. And it sounds interesting. Maybe if I have sometime to spend then I'll watch it though.

This is kinda related to my original idea of the entry today. I've thought abt it recently after watching yeah, House M.D.

''Have I myself ever empathized with those patients I'm breaking the news about?''

Especially the bad news. Take this for instance, if you have a friend who have gone through something you yourself haven't been through yet, do you think you have empathized them enough compared to those whom experienced it after you?

Well, for me, we can empathized them as much as we want or might but we can't never empathized them as much as we did when we have gone through such  experience.

The question is, how am I myself can empathized the sooner or later patients I'll gain?

How can I put myself for instance, breaking the news about cancer be it breast cancer of advanced stage or of any kind? It's a deep and delicate things to unwrap though.

| What if I was told that I had cancer and I'll have at least 5 years of survival. Or I have a liver failure and I'm in the list of liver transplant? How would I feel, act, react and rationalized at present and future about this? How would I go through my day starting of today? |

-Mintak jauh amin. -  @_@

No | Grit | Mentors

Just Say No

Warren Buffett once said:

The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say “no” to almost everything.

And that’s what gives them the time to accomplish so much.

Why did they say no?
They were too busy with their own projects to help him with his.
Achievement requires focus. And focus means saying “no” to a lot of distractions.

: ignore your weaknesses and keep improving your strengths.

In identifying opportunities for improvement, don’t waste time cultivating skill areas where you have little competence. Instead, concentrate on—and build on—your strengths.

This means knowing who you are, what you are and what you are good at.

More than anything else, “Know thyself.” Know what your type is. …Think about your own personality… For instance, if you are a classic entrepreneur, you can’t work in an organization. Know that.

By being more outgoing, open to new ideas, following hunches, and being optimistic, lucky people create possibilities.

Have Grit

Intelligence and creativity are great but you can’t quit when the going gets tough if you really want to accomplish anything big.
That’s grit. Perseverance. And it’s one of the best predictors of success there is.

The best predictor of success, the researchers found, was the prospective cadets’ ratings on a noncognitive, nonphysical trait known as “grit”—defined as “perseverance and passion for long-term goals.”

…when they fail, they do not waste much time lamenting; blaming; or, at the extreme, quitting. Instead, regarding the failure as a learning experience, they try to build upon its lessons in their future endeavors. Framing is most succinctly captured in aphorism by French economist and visionary Jean Monnet: “I regard every defeat as an opportunity.”

Make Awesome Mistakes

Failure is essential.
Losers like to hear that because it makes them feel better about their past mistakes. Winners use it to go make more mistakes they can learn from.

Successful creators engage in an ongoing dialogue with their work. They put what’s in their head on paper long before it’s fully formed, and they watch and listen to what they’ve recorded, zigging and zagging until the right idea emerges.  

Find Mentors

You cannot go it alone. It can be hard to learn from books. And the internet makes it difficult to separate truth from fiction.
You need someone who has been there to show you the ropes. A Yoda. A Mister Miyagi.

Why would somebody invest deliberate practice in something? It turns out that actually most of these world-class performers had a first coach, or a first teacher, who made the activity fun.
 
 Ectracted from here.

 

  

There is no try.

My mentors?

Abah and Ibu.

''Great teachers are first and foremost learners, who improve their skills with each passing year.''

So the mentor that believes in you is the better mentor. 

Mulan.

Reflection.

The song is performed after Mulan returns home following a failed attempt to impress her matchmaker. The lyrical content expresses the way Mulan feels about wanting to show the world who she really is instead of pretending to be who she is not, but is afraid to disappoint her family by doing so. This scene takes place at Mulan's home in its surrounding gardens and ends in her family temple, where she removes her makeup to reveal her true appearance. 

Look at me, I will never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter.
Can it be, I'm not meant to play this part.
Now I see, that if I were truly to be myself, I would break my family's heart.
Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Somehow I cannot hide, who I am, though I've tried.
When will my reflection show, who I am inside?

Serious lesson of the day; Quote as well

“Only a fool learns from experience, I learn from the experience of others”

-anondoc

|Okay. T_T |

Tupai oh Tupai

Ado sekor anok tupai atah julai mokte
Kudung ekor perut lapar jalan cari makan
Kejadian tuhan dipanggil nama tupai
Asalnya dale hutan sejenis mamalia
Kalu pasal jakit kok dehe dialah yg paling pandai
Jatuh jare jare kerana dia tak sobar

Pandai pandai tupai melompat jatuh tanah jugok
Tak wi gambar ore jahat jale telajok mangok
Ore jame ritu pakat hambat tupai
Bimbe ko woh kayu takuk tokdan besar
Nyor derian duku kalu dan nye kerit tupai
Pendek tahun tu nyor derian takdan nak jual
Ore sekepung tupai sekor berambat hari hari
Nya pakat likung nya pakat pekong tupai takleh lagi
Sakat bedil ado tupai habih mati
Hok ni lah saya raso kita sangat rugi
Kita manusio tinggi mana pun kita ngaji
Nak wat tupai sekor tentu sekali nya tak jadi
Loni kapung atau bandar jare buleh tgk
Bapok tupai ibu tupai jale bawak anok
Rasa kesian sungguh tgk sekor ke anok tupai
Kerana telajok kuruh sapa tokleh nak niti pagar
Bulu bulu pun habih luruh air mato bederai derai
Mari dale baruh bekali kena racun tebaka
Ado sekor anok tupai atah julai mokte
Kudung ekor perut lapar jalan cari makan

There's a lesson behind the song.

I like.

That's why I keep it in my playlist. XD

| Kita manusio tinggi mana pun kita ngaji
Nak wat tupai sekor tentu sekali nya tak jadi |

Friends

Friends.

You have a lot.

But close is rare.

Like a diamonds.

But no matter how rare the diamonds is everyone can have more than one of them.

Then why do they say the closest one or the most dear one is like a diamond?

Tell me

What's the rarest mineral of all?

[ I  might as well expecting you to google it now. :P ]

Of how dear and close my diamond friend is

Of the closeness up to the sister level

None could be the rarest one like the red beryl.

Who are the red beryl I define myself?

My friends.

Each and everyone of you.

 Each and every single one of friends I have

I don't talk the same way and the same things specifically to them

Specifically, each one of them,

We'll have a certain topics to talk on.

You'll understand yourself when you talk with each of your friends.

But that doesn't mean you act differently around all of them.

Of course, that's of hypocrisy. ~.~

And I learned that I love to have a certain topics with each of you.

And get an opinions about certain things with all of you.

Collectively I can conclude and see in a lot of perspectives.

In conclusion?

I treasure each and everyone of you.

We all are unique to ourselves just like our fingerprint and earlobe.

Each of us have our own blueprint

Just like our chromosomes and DNAs

| I love thinking a lot even if sometimes it's a mess and I love each and every single person I come across in my life even if I literally or technically hate them. |

Love

I love

Reading. Watching. Learning. Thinking. And playing.

That would be the circle of life in my life cycle.

Regardless.

I love laughing. Trying. Experiencing. And Reminiscing.

I'm kinda shy a-bit-of-introvert type.

But I'm up for challenges.

Maybe one at a time for certain things. XD

Other can be of multi-task. XD

| Upsets and Downfalls doesn't mean I am not alive for the present and tomorrow. |

Sometimes Everyday

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around

Oh, no

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do

Why try to change me now

I'm sentimental
So I walk in the rain
I've got some habits
Even I can't explain
Go to the corner
I end up in Spain
Why try to change me now

I sit and daydream
I've got daydreams galore
Cigarette ashes
There they go on the floor
Go away weekends
Leave my keys in the door
Why try to change me now

Why can't I be more conventional
People talk
People stare
So I try
But they can't be
Cuz I can't see
My strange little world
Just go passing me by

So let people wonder
Let 'em laugh
Let 'em frown
You know I'll love you
Till the moon's upside down
Don't you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me now

Don't you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me
Why try to change me now

Drugs.

Frustration. Hatred. Grudge. Resent. Disappointment.

Indifferent.

Things that I like turns out to be the things that I have to decide to hate.

To stop liking.

To stop living with.

You know how hurtful it is to hear it from those you love that they don't like it?

I know I should grow up and out of it.

But time to time I do missed it.

It made me so terrible.

So bad.

So worst.

That I have to throw out my teddy just because I'm growing old.

Can't I at least spare sometime with it?!

Even for a minutes?!

I know I'm too old enough for it and especially for being girls who likes toys that boys mostly like!

Can't I have my way and myself for it?!

I know how to control it myself now so why can't they let me be?!

There's a thing I love of myself.

I grew tired of talking things.

Saying things like I'm coping with it,

Having drugs less and less each day,

But you know,

Who would trust an addict?

I grew tired of convincing people.

Since I'm the boy who cried wolf.

I don't mind anymore.

I have no will to say anymore.

Either you want to believe it or not.

Be it.

I'm tired of convincing people.

What's important is I trust myself and I know what I'm doing.

Even if they see me high at the moment.

Why bother convincing when nobody wants to trust you?

I'm tired of this.

I just got recovered, healing with fibrosis and then suddenly someone ripped of the scab.

Yeah. I'm bleeding again.

I guess I have to stay firm like those granulation tissues

Keep on building up scab and stop the bleeding

Gluing fibrin, put on more platelets and make new scab.

I guess this is reality.

Even you can get hurt from those who loves you.

Maybe because you just want it your way.

Well at  least I get to experience this reality of life drama.

Life will never be the same.

But I will pull up my strength and will to live.

Despite of hurts and bleeds.

| Learning to put on smile on that tearful face. ^_^ |

Life will exactly never be the same.

Welcome to world of hell Nadiah. ^_^

I'll start focusing more on dramas movies and studies.

I'm tired of this dumb ass love life.

Yeah maybe once in a while I'm gonna miss it but nevertheless my focus is on carrier path and treat my miss manner of meanie at times.

Regardless.

I am NOT going to stop playing.

It's not that I give my heart at games.

But I play with my heart.

So be it.

Or forever I will resent games.

Each and every single times I heard anythings mentioned games.

It might affect my children to maybe?

Past experience can affect your future too.

Since you can't let go of what has happen to you.

The same goes to me.

| I hate resent what I like. Please. Don't make me. I love you. |

Lesson of the day.

''Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.''

-Master Yoda

''Ikat di tangan, jangan ikat di hati.''

-Ibu

| What did I do? |

The meaning behind.

Self-love.

Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me

What is self-love?

• Not being afraid to live the life you’ve always dreamed of, and going with it wholeheartedly
• Being good to yourself, being kind and compassionate — especially during difficult times
• Eating well, drinking plenty of water and looking after that wonderful body of yours
• Having the courage to stand up for what you believe, in no matter what
• Being passionate about what makes you come alive, and sharing it with others
• Knowing and understanding who you really are
• Not being afraid to be vulnerable; keeping your heart open
• Choosing to be happy; looking for the good in every situation, and learning from the bad stuff that happens
• Being grateful for everything that you already have your life, and forgiving yourself for past mistakes

 I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

Want a great relationship? Learn how to love yourself first

When you love yourself fully, you become more in tune with your real feelings, and trust your intuition and decisions with little doubt or worry. Loving yourself will not only create a better space to be more vulnerable, open and authentic, it will mean that those who love you will become a reflection on how you love yourself.
Self-love will widen the door to your heart, and you’ll act out of kindness, compassion and joy.  You’ll focus less on what’s going badly in your life and more on what’s good, which brings with it a sense of gratitude.
It’ll also open your eyes to new possibilities in life; you’ll see things that you’ve never seen before, and look for the good in people rather than the bad. With that, you’ll attract people who are generous with their love, and partake in experiences that you could only have dreamed of previously.
You’ll feel passionate, inspired and uplifted, and the best bit is it came all from within you!

And if, by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love  

Finding true love will be easier and more natural

That’s not saying there will be no challenging times, fears or worries, but you’ll be able to handle things better with more clarity and consciousness.  True love will come in its own time, and because of your own self-love you’ll be less needy or desperate for it to happen, it’ll just happen.

Extracted from here.

| Love has taught me to value myself and family more than you. |

| Love Allah means loving yourself. |

Bare-naked Heart

Just now home from cath. lab [catheterization lab]

And so confused since class ended earlier than it should be.

It's cardiology unit dude.

And one doesn't easily going back home early from Internal Medicine clinical round.

Well, what to do, profs all busy for the next week annual conference meeting.

We can't say much to that. T_T

But I'm so lucky for just in this week able to listen to pistol shot due to aortic regurge.

Systolic click from the prosthetic valve.

And feeling water hammer pulse. XD

Always confuse water hammer pulse with bounding pulse. -_-

Better look up back on definitions. =,=''

But just for the cath. case files,

Being in the cath. lab,

In front of the theatre like I used to see in House M.D xD

The difference is that I didn't see one like in the cath. lab.

And the machine they coordinate?

DAMN COOL

Just now wondering whether he's a technician or physicians.

Guessed he's a technician then.

Today's making me more and more into cardiac specialty.

Just that I have to study MORE and A LOT

And decide whether it is

Surgeon or Internist I'm going to pursue.

Hm.

That's the thought currently but I can't deny my neediness of ObGyn yet.

Well, there's plenty of time to think. :P

I'll keep taste all the tester they give while considering which flavor I prefer and if I can accommodate living with it while being a wonderful wife as a physician. :P 

| Cardiothoracic Specialty is still amazing. I love my heart. |

Considering.

Recently

I've a pool of thoughts of how I'm gonna spend on my maybe-holiday-for-three-months-before-being-called on-to-report-duty.

I want mention any but I'll pick few of what I would like to share of

At first I thought of gaining some savings as well as having some experience of working since for the rest 24 years of my life I haven't at all working experience.

But then I thought, I won't be having any holidays as I used to like summer break of two months or something like that and so I've been thinking of sketching out plans to laying around lazily, enjoying as much as I can, having trips to kampung and such as well as preparing and refreshing my knowledge and skills by sharpening them.

Also the thoughts of where would I like to start my practice of housemanship.

Guess I need to really get into serious discussion about this with my ibu*and abah* since I wanna stay as near to them as far as I did for the past 6 years.

Praying for His blessing to this dream.

I don't care much for my Medical Officer year for now.

For the time being I would like to stay as much near to them as I can since I've given up the last 6 years for study, freedom and experiencing life in my path of life.

Like others

I myself too do worried about being alone when posting.

Me too wants to get posting with friends somewhere but since I want to prioritize myself and time with my family, I would prefer to decide first based on my need of my family rather than my friends. Even though I want so much to be with them in the same hospital, I would rather choose to live with or near my family first. There's a lot to sacrifice.

*really in deep thoughts*

| The Road Not Taken |

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

| This I feel. |

I should say this now or never.

IT'S 2222!!!

DAMNED IT"S THAT LATE ALREADY!!!

*sigh*

| =_= |

Crazy Because Of You.

Feel your senses to my scent
You empower me
My heart used to be fine
Now it's all broken

This nonsense on-off-on-off daylight saving is killing me.

=_=

I'm prepared but..

Just not fully prepared. =_=

By the time I come back, okay, it's1400-1500

But then Asr is around 1630

Almost like in Malaysia, okay, be it.

 And Maghrib is around 2000

WHAT?!!

Hm..okay.

By 2130 it's adhan for Isya' prayer.

Finished salah.

*Open book*

*Sit in front of desk*

*Look at laptop's time*

*Gasp*

It's 2200 @_@

*krik2

=_=

Last year they suddenly cancelled daylight saving as I am adapting to it for few years.

And this year lucky me I asked 'cause no one seems to alert everyone about the daylight savings as they usually did. =_=

Lucky me I'm just one day off the daylight saving time. =_=

But now it seems unbearable to fast in this kind of state. =,=''

Alhamdulillah finished qada all the fasting that's compulsory. =_=

But I did try to fast in this state and alhamdulillah not bad except for the slight hypoglycemic since I sahur too early. The power of niat. :P

| I am so ready for daylight saving. =_= |

Kill All On Sight.

Is where I learned of special thing.

Friend zone.

Good gays.

Nah that's one of a kind to learn of. XD

There's a lot.

But on top of all that.

I learn about teamwork on  top of friendship, trust and bonding.

Love out there somewhere.

Buddies even if I pretended to be gay, I like being gay around you guys.

Ergo, it's the thoughts that count.

People come and go.

But abang2 kawasan will still be the legends.

And I'm an average no-ob as always.

| No want can beat my laziness. |

XD

I miss the fun but I got study to attend. T_T

''Go away, Anna.''

''Okay, bye.''

Problem.

''A problem delayed is a problem denied.''

Nice one Wilson. xDD

-House M.D season 6 Wilson

No Game No Life

I love shiro!! xD

520

Really.

Simple Explanation.

:P

''Sa..game wo hajimeyo.''

Yesterday.

Too many thoughts.

To the point you almost forgot everything.

So main point is

Back to basic.

Never forget

And do always refresh.

Learning from them is the shortest cut of all.

''Let the game begins.''

Some thoughts to hook up with.

''If any woman can steal a guy away from me, then she can have him because I wouldn't want him anymore.''

^_^

I heard of new horror movies recently. Care to join?

It's Cold.

Even when spring comes and flowers bloom,

And summer comes, making memories melt down…

The four seasons never suited me in the first place. I’m a cold child.

My harsh personality is like winter that cuts through the skin. The cold wind. It’s needless to say.

To me, having a cold heart is everything. My heart is like the winter ocean.

You’d know when you approach me on a ship. That I’m not an island, but an iceberg.

I’ve lost my focus. My eyes are frosted.

Because my cold memories were being stepped on, I only kept screaming without an Adam’s apple.

I was an icy road with nothing but painful scars. 

My heart collapsed like an avalanche. When I pulled myself together, it was a lightless night again. 

Even when the sun, named you, rises, the snow-covered mountain will not melt.

It’s cold here. Even though I hide my hands in my pockets

It’s too cold. Even though I put my hands together and blow on them

Because my heart is frozen solid, my lips keep becoming chapped.

I’m the only one who’s cold. Even when I wrap my body with blankets

It’s too cold. Even when I throw myself into someone else’s arms

Because my heart has a hole, even though I try to cover it, the wind keeps escaping.

Though spring visits flatteringly, I stand on the edge of fall.

My memories have stopped at winter. I’ve locked up my warmness. Inside the chapped flesh of my dry heart.

My memories are trapped in a frozen river. They hold on to me, and don’t let go of my hands.

Ever since I learned about our cold separation, spring, when flowers bloom, have never come again.

To me, cherry blossoms bloom like snowflakes. It’s cold here.

To me, the sunshine only hits me like a blizzard. I’m the only one who’s cold.

Whatever I touch, they all become frozen. I’m afraid that I might hold your hands.

Because, if you become close to me, your heart might catch a flu, too.

It’s cold here. Even though I hide my hands in my pockets

It’s too cold. Even though I put my hands together and blow on them

Because my heart is frozen solid, my lips keep becoming chapped.

I’m the only one who’s cold. Even when I wrap my body with blankets

It’s too cold. Even when I throw myself into someone else’s arms

Because my heart has a hole, even though I try to cover it, the wind keeps escaping.

I’m cold as ice. I’m cold as ice. I’m cold as ice. So cold.

Even when spring comes and flowers bloom,

And summer comes, making memories melt down… Here, it’s…

It’s cold here. It’s too cold.

Because my heart is frozen solid, my lips keep becoming chapped.

I’m the only one who’s cold. It’s too cold.

Because my heart has a hole, even though I try to cover it, the wind keeps escaping.